So, I’m pretty much ridiculous.
Today I had orientation for my new job at Mimi’s. First of all- I was so nervous that I was mentally and physically preparing all morning when it didn’t start until 3pm. I watched a good many episodes of Grey’s Anatomy to distract myself in the meantime (Season 5 finale is a massive tearjerker no matter the number of times you’ve seen it..). By the time I anxiously left I wondered if I’d been told 3 or 3:30, and assumed better safe than sorry (twas too embarrassed to just call and ask…). Of course once the manager greeted me she informed me I was 40 minutes early. Typical Carrie.. We eventually went back to a vacant table where she gave me a brief history of the company. This drove me a little crazy seeing as I’d already researched all of this and would have preferred to be able to relay it to her and show off my wit and determination- but oh well. I sat there and pretended I was hearing most of it for the first time, which is typically a very hard thing for me to do. I’m very stubborn, you see. Anywho. Kiera, the manager, continued to go over the employee handbook and expectations and what not. It was all very routine and non-intimidating. You would think I’d be calm and content, having already landed the job and am only familiarizing myself with it now. Nope. My jaw’s ten times worse now than it was before the 40-minute meeting. When I’m crazy stupid nervous my jaw locks up. I don’t know if I clench my teeth or what, but it’s horrible. I don’t understand at all why I was so nervous during this silly meeting. My hands were sweating profusely- my lip started to twitch- and I have this awful urge to tear up when I’m nervous and the only thing I’ve found that helps is drinking water-more of a distraction- in the midst of it. Thank God they’d provided me with a glass of water before we started.. If only it’d been a mimosa or something containing alcohol- maybe I would have come off as less of a freak. I’m extremely curious to know what their impressions were of me.. I sell myself short when it comes to first impressions. I’m always too nervous to possibly make it good..
I got to meet McKay- my trainer-to-be. (I have no idea if that’s how it’s spelled.) He seems really cool. I’m excited to train with him. He’s a robust and obviously flamboyant character and claims he has more regulars than anyone else there, so I hope I’m in good hands. I made it painfully clear to him that I’ll be more fun to hang around with when I freaking relax the new job nerves. Not sure if that did more harm than good..
All in all- I really need this job. I need to learn to relax and how to think on my feet. I need to gain more confidence in myself and my abilities. I know they’re profound- exquisite even- yeah- I said exquisite- but I need to learn how to show that off on command- not solely once I’m comfortable in a situation. I think this job is going to teach me a lot- and even though I’m betting that I’ll cry in my first week of serving, I can’t wait for the opportunity to better myself in so many ways that an office job cannot.
Screw Marquette- these people seem awesome and I cannot wait to start.
It’s a good sign when I don’t care that I’ll be working Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.
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